I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
When did angry sex become our thing?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
