I seem to have left my pride at pride
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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