note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
