Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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