theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
