bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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