Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
