My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
