its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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