She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's never too late to be topless.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
