ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Randomize
