never play flip cup with pint glasses
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think my moral compass just broke
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize