You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize