he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
