She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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