I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
