I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize