so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
