I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
