I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
