honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we're making bets on your personal life
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize