My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
