Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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