dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
