we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
