my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
