I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
