the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
