i don't like sucking hair
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
