her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
