oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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