Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Found your dick twin last night
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize