remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize