am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
