and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Watching her eat just hurts me
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
