Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
