stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
