I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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