i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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