im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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