I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
