my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
