smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
