I hope mine doesn't look like that
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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