And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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