Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
