I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
