Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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