i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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