Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
