Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
