you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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