yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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