i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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