Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
