NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
