the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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