it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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