I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
