i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
