ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
