I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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