what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
barbara walters just said penis...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize