the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
