If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
